Bad Hojo! Do Not Offend The Booger Goddess!
by SesshoumaruFanCall911
Summary: Another short fic, and I've killed Hojo yet again! Hojo has offended the Booger Goddess and she has sent the Booger Army to kill him! HA HA HA! (It's not as gross as it sounds, I just have a strange sense of humor. My mom laughed her ass off!) Rated for..


I'm baaaacccckkk! With a sick fic for Hojo-Haters to enjoy, or if you're like me and just have a REALLY  
  
warped mind.......  
  
Disclaimer - I do not own Hojo, the show InuYasha, or Dairy Queen. But I DO own the plotline to this   
  
sick fic, the Booger Army, and the Booger Goddess but I'm willing to sell them. Five cents.   
  
Anyone? No? Damn.  
  
  
  
Bad Hojo! Do Not Offend The Booger Goddess!  
  
One day Hojo was sitting at home watching TV when his nose started to itch.  
  
'Well, noone's around. So maybe I'll just....' Hojo then proceeded to pick his nose.  
  
Suddenly thunder scared Hojo so bad he almost ran his finger into his brain.  
  
Then a figure of a woman appeared.  
  
"How dare you, Hojo!" She said.   
  
"Who are you?" He asked while trembling.  
  
"I am SesshoumaruFanCall911 the Booger Goddess, and you have offended me! I shall now send my Booger   
  
Army to kill you!" and with that she vanished.  
  
Hojo wiped the sweat from his brow.  
  
'She can't really be serious.' He thought. 'A Booger Army? She must be crazy.'  
  
Just then his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of marching and tiny voices crying: "Left, left,  
  
left, right left! We have come to kill Hojo! We are not the poor man's gold! We always kill with   
  
glee! We are the Booger Army!   
  
'Oh my God!' Hojo thought. 'There really IS a Booger Army! I've gotta get oughtta here!' Hojo then   
  
jumped out of his living room window.   
  
Hojo ran down the street as fast as he could followed by this sound: "Hojo, Hojo, you can't run!  
  
Soon we're gonna have some fun! Sound off! One, Two!....."  
  
'Where can I run to?' Hojo thought. He turned a corner and ended up at a local Dairy Queen. 'Aha,   
  
perfect! I can hide in here!' So he pushed open the doors and ordered himself a blizzard and sat  
  
down at a table......by a window.  
  
Hojo took a bite out of his blizzard, and was interrupted by more marching and chanting. This time it  
  
was: "We have come, we're the Booger Army! We've come to kill Hojo, Hee hee!"  
  
'Oh God!' Hojo thought. 'Doesn't anybody else hear them?' Hojo looked around the room. 'Nope, noone  
  
doesn't seem to notice. How odd.....'  
  
At the same time in the Booger Goddess's room..er.....sanctuary  
  
Booger Goddess: Yeah! Oh, damn! OH-GOD-I'M-GONNA-DIE! NO! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
*Explosion*  
  
The Booger Goddess then put down her Legend of Zelda video game and sighed. "Damn. I was THIS close to  
  
beating Bongo Bongo...."  
  
"Miss Goddess?" The Lieutenant Booger said.  
  
"What is it?" The Booger Goddess asked.  
  
The Lieutenant continued, "We pretty much have Hojo surrounded, but he's in a public place and if the  
  
public should learn of our existance....."  
  
"Yes, I know." The Booger Goddess replied. "But we must kill this Hojo!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because he's really annoying and I want to."  
  
"Oh, okay." The Lieutenant left the room leaving the Booger Goddess to think in peace.  
  
"Hm." She thought. "Perhaps I should have a hand in killing Hojo....."  
  
Back at the Dairy Queen that Hojo is hiding inside  
  
'Why is everyone leaving?' Hojo thought. Then he looked at his wristwatch. 'Oh. It's 10:00 and it's   
  
  
  
closing time.'  
  
Just then the Booger Goddess appeared at the front doors of the Dairy Queen. "Ah, nice to see you again,  
  
Hojo." She said.  
  
"Why are you following me?"  
  
"I already told you. You have offended me by picking your nose and killing some of my little loyal   
  
Booger Followers."  
  
"I swear I'll never do it again!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. That's what everybody says. But do they actually stop picking their noses? No."  
  
"I will I promise!"  
  
"Too late!" The Booger Goddess then turned around and whistled. Little footsteps could be heard.  
  
"Left, left, left, right left!" They shouted.  
  
"Oh, no!" Hojo cried. "They've come back, and they're actually gonna kill me!"  
  
"At-ten-tion!" The Booger Goddess commanded. "You know your jobs so go ahead, KILL HOJO!" She then gave  
  
the signal for the Booger Army to attack.  
  
The Booger Army marched forward singing: "Left, left, left, right left!"  
  
Hojo crouched in a corner whimpering and pleading.  
  
"STOP!" The Booger Goddess commanded and the Army halted.  
  
Hojo jumped up. "Oh, thank you! Thank you!" He shouted while jumping up and down. "You spared me! I   
  
swear you won't regret it!"  
  
"Spared you?" The Booger Goddess asked innocently. "I just wanted to get out my camcorder so I can have  
  
this on tape forever, and ever...."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
The Booger Goddess then raised the camcorder to her eyes and yelled, "Okay......ACTION!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD NO!   
  
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!   
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP IT PLEASE!"  
  
"Nope, sorry Hojo." The Booger Goddess said from behind the lens. "Ah, I love this. CONTINUE!"  
  
The Booger Army then brought in a guillotine and put Hojo in it. "NO! NO! I'M SORRY! PLEASE, NO!" Hojo  
  
sobbed. Which was then followed by alot more screaming and a nice SPLAT!  
  
~THE END~  
  
Wow, this was kinda dimented with the booger thing. But, YAY I KILLED HOJO.....AGAIN! I still stand by  
  
my statements in the past and I INSIST that there are NO HOJO FANS! But if for some reason you  
  
are, go ahead and flame me. Even if you aren't a Hojo fan I still accept flames. But by  
  
stating that you are a fan of Hojo, I will acknowledge that you are the first official Hojo Fan!   
  
But ya know what? I don't care WHY you read this fic, but if you don't review you'll suffer the   
  
same death as Hojo! 


End file.
